Well it's today. Nursey comes breezing into room at some unearthly hour (5:30am)and tells me I need to shower and get back into bed. I ask her if I need to wash my hair again, she sort of shrugs, it's still damp from the night before so we get away with it. Showered in betadine once again and slip into the sexy black number they give me then climb back into bed. Only I shouldn't have climbed into bed I should have laid on top of the bed. Oh well. How the bloody hell was I supposed to know?
No going back now. The preparation begins...more nurses arrive and try to insert a canula for the administration of drugs. Bloody hell THAT hurt. I am a brave little soldier and smile sweetly as the nurse struggles to find a suitable vein. I didn't mention but they had the same trouble yesterday when trying to take some blood samples. Allegedly I have moving veins habloodyha. Funny how at the local lab when I need my regular check up for thyroid levels they have no problem at all! Even I know it would be a whole lot easier if they raised the bed to a decent height and sat down to try to do it rather then being bent double hanging over me. I'm no nurse, what do I know? I am ending up bruised to buggery but thankfully for them (or they would all have black eyes) am fairly tolerant.
Well, I am rigged up to assorted drips, saline, antibiotics and am given a small pill. Pre-med I assume. Then yet another nurse comes in and swabs my right leg and thigh down with a much stronger betadine solution so my poor leg is bright orange. They put a small paper shoe on my "good" foot and a paper hair net affair for my hair. Very attractive I am sure!!!
My surgery is scheduled for 8:30 am and they come to wheel me away at 7:30 am. The whisk off my glasses so from that point on it's all a bit of a blur. They take me and my bed out down to the theatre. On the way out the nice lady in the next bed whispers "bon courage" and waves me off. Definitely no going back now!!
As I said, it's a bit of a blur but from what I recall I was taken down several floors in a lift then out to what seems to be a pre-op area. It was bloody cold and the nurses with me apologised. It was also at this point I left my comfy bed behind and had to "otch" myself across onto a sort of trolly to cross a small area then finally "otch" once more onto yet another trolley and into what I assume was the theatre. The trolly was narrow and very uncomfortable and they wanted me to lie flat with my legs straight which was horribly uncomfortable.
So I am there, in what appears to be the theatre itself. Lots of begowned and behatted folk moving around in an efficient type manner. Most alarmingly I could hear instruments being clanked around. I dare not imagine what it actually was. Black and Decker maybe?
So there I am, balanced on this trolley designed for a skinny, midget Frenchman. An arm stretched out each side crucifix stylie - blood pressure and blood gas monitors attached, EGC attached, modesty robe ripped off (yes I am still conscious at this point) but covered with a thin cotton sheet. Am I cold? Yes I bloody well am!! They drape a bizarre plastic thing over me and attach a hot air blower which reminded me a lot of those old fashioned hair drying hoods. I had to laugh!!
Then things started to go a bit awry. I had discussed the type of anaesthestia I wanted and what had been recommended was an epidural with a light sedative. Unfortunately, it was a different anaesthetist and not one of the details in my notes seems to have been followed. You're having a general anaethetic? That's what you selected, right?" Says this behatted bemasked blur. "No, I thought it was an epidural." Too late now!! Breathe deeply, breathe deeply...the last words I heard before I must have dosed off into Neverneverland.
Well I didn't have any dreams, no nightmares, no recollection of anything.....to be honest a GA worked for me!!! LOL!!
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